nait's bible stories

This is sort of on topic. I'm trying to figure out how to put the closet together, because that will allow me to unpack like 33% of my possessions. Describing to Nait how I could buy a unit online that had a shelf with a closet rod connected to the bottom, he related to me the following (paraphrased):

God said to Noah, "If thou installest a closet, maketh thine closet rods of dowel. Maketh them to sit in their U-shaped receptacles, and attacheth thou these receptacles to thine studs. Select thou dowels of 1 1/4" diameter, for this pleaseth the Lord.

"With a block of wood 27" deep, create a shelf for thine closet. Install also some shelves at an angle, that you might rest thine shoes upon them."

And Noah said to God, "But God, I already have to worry about finding all these tigers and shit. Shoe racks? Really?"

And God said to Noah, "You're gonna be doing a lot of running."

Apparently this is from Leviticus, but all I have is Nait's word on that, and he's been drinking beer and mopping up joint compound for three hours.

walls and floors

The drywall crew - who are basically awesome, though incredibly messy - think they'll be done today. All the walls that should have sheetrock have it, and the walls that weren't busted during the foundation repair have been floated to a smooth texture to match the new ones. The contractors determined once they got in that the ceilings, which were to be floated as well, were too loose to support the weight of the additional mud, so a new layer of sheetrock was applied there, too.



70% of my house is now a blank canvas. I'm going to see how fast and how cheap it's possible to get someone in to spray primer over all the new surfaces. If it costs too much I'll do it myself, one room at a time, with rollers.



Before I can move all of our possessions out of the kitchen, though, I also have to deal with the floors. In every room except the dining room, pulling up the vinyl has revealed the same rose-patterned original linoleum glued to the floorboards with what seems an awful lot like tar. One flooring contractor who came to give me a bid said it was made of linseed oil and made it sound like the safest, most charming thing in the world. Another said it was probably full of asbestos and he wasn't licensed to even look sideways at it. The plan is still to try and loosen it with a wallpaper steamer. If there is asbestos in it, hopefully the moisture will keep it from getting into the air. My personal feeling is that the stuff with asbestos is probably the stuff we removed from on top of it, while not wearing masks.. One of the thrills of home ownership is getting to play fast and loose with your respiratory health, I guess.

Anyway, suffice it to say the floors are in rough shape now and it would probably take several thousand dollars to get them smooth and glowing. I'm tempted to remove the linoleum, sand them down rough, and paint them all white. But I guess we'll see what costs what. First I have to get the holes where the boards have rotted or been eaten by termites patched. And I have plenty of painting to do while I consider what the step after that will be.

notes from a laundry room

I had a guy out to give me an estimate for drywalling the entire house. The figure he came up with was $13k, so it looks like drywall is a skill I've got no choice but to master. In service to my future self:



- Square joints make all the difference. You cannot fake square joints with lots of mud and tape.
- Thickly applied mud will crack. This is only a problem, however, if you're not planning to mud nine more times. Which you probably should be.
- The first coat of mud is the easiest to get smooth, so do not half-ass it and assume it'll work itself out later.
- Sanding between coats of mud may seem like an easy way to make up for half-assing the step above, but this is a dirty trick. You will be sorry indeed if you fall for it and subsequent coats take twice as long because you're going over ruts left in otherwise smooth mud by little cling-ons of dry dust and wet mud.
- The giant bucket of pre-mixed mud is not for amateurs. It is for AWESOME.
- Do not bang plastic taping knives on the concrete pavers outside your house trying to get dried mud off. The edges are smooth for a reason.
- If you have time to take a break, you have time to clean your mud pan and taping knives so the mud doesn't dry on them. You may not, however, have time to run to the hardware store to get new tools after the mud sets up and you've destroyed the ones you were using before by banging them on concrete pavers.
- Mudding a ceiling can be mind-numbing. Dismounting your ladder from the top rung without descending may seem a tempting way to put and end to this, but it's not worth it.
- Joint compound is probably the single substance you encounter in remodeling a house that is neither a skin irritant nor permanent once you get it on your clothes. Wipe your hands on your jeans and keep going.
- Those fancy corner taping knives only work if your pieces of drywall are hung at perfect 90〫angles. Which, let's face it, is un-fucking-likely.
- The best music for drywalling is booty house.
- A ladder is not a good place for you to dance.
- You can keep mudding until the walls are perfect. Or you can do what sensible people do and give up once 50% of the room is covered in mud. And then you can have a beer.

Cheers.